Why I’m Glad I Was Cheated On

| Getting Over an Affair – Why I’m GLAD I was Cheated on |

2016 was shaping up to be one of the best years of my life so far. I travelled the world, went on some incredible adventures, cultivated wonderful friendships, learnt new skills and took a huge step towards a big love life goal. But in August my world came crashing down around me overnight and I was left trying to pick up the pieces of my life that had been pulled out from beneath my feet and shattered on the floor.

I was left totally broken, confused and not really knowing what to do, where to go or quite how to feel – I just didn’t know how to get over an affair or move forward on my own. The future that had been mapped out in front of my eyes was gone, I’d lost all control and what felt for a long time like all meaning as well. But with the help of my parents and my incredible friends I started to breath again and slowly re-build my foundations until I was able to stand, look around and say ‘Ok. What’s Next‘.

When something like this happens you feel as if you’ll never be happy again, like all hope is lost, like you’ll never be whole. But over the last four months I’ve grown more than I have in my entire 28 years and I now feel the strongest version of me there’s ever been.

The usual cliches find their way to you from so many angles when others attempt comfort, and you find yourself repeating them over and over to try and convince yourself too. I’d repeat ‘It’s a good job I found out now before I married him!’ and add ‘…of course it would have been better if he hadn’t done it at all…’ and nervously laugh to cover up my sadness and shame. But now, now I don’t bother with that last sentence because (and hold onto your reading glasses for this one)…

I’m glad I was cheated on.

The second half of last year was the worst thing I’ve experienced so far in my adult life but I’m glad it happened. I sometimes feel as if we can become complacent, naive, a little indestructible in life when everything goes our way. I often found myself in the quiet times feeling incredibly grateful but a little blasé about how great life was and how things just seemed to fall into place. It wasn’t until everything fell apart that I realised my true potential, my desires and my strength.

finland-lapland-42

I wrote lists. Lots of lists. And it was a mundane Tuesday locked in my parent’s spare room when I started the list called ‘What I’ve Done’. I realised that over the last three years I’ve achieved so much, I’ve done so much, I’ve grown so much and you know what? It’s all been me. It was that moment that I decided to take back control and not to let this quite frankly total shit of a situation beat me. I picked myself up and I made a plan.

Fast forward over 4 months and here we are. At the start of a brand new year with my entire life ahead of me. I have a beautiful home that I’m so proud of and love to welcome people into. A small group of incredible humans I call friends that I had no idea were capable of such patience and kindness. Two parents who love me more than life itself and who I’m as closer to now than I have ever been before. And me. A new version of me that’s stronger, more independent, calmer, less stressed, less worried and so excited for what comes next.

A new version of me that lives for right now instead of 6 months ahead. A new version of me that is a lot more cautious with her heart, of course, but a version that is open to finding the right person to build a future with despite the bruises left from my life before.

getting over an affair

I do believe everything happens for a reason, that there are always lessons to be learned and what will be will be. The life I was living enabled me to achieve so much without realising I was doing it all on my own, and there were a lot of happy times. But now, now I have the strongest foundations a woman could have and a determination that burns brighter than ever before.

I’m ready to start living again and to make my life the best life it can be. Bring it on 2017.

Let’s do this.

xax

28 Comments

  • So wonderful, Amelia! It’s great when we can turn a crap situation into a growing experience for ourselves. Happy 2017 and to all the wonderful things you will create for yourself in this new year.

  • I just love how we have this beautiful and sometimes unknown ability to recover and reinvent ourselves. And you are doing it flawless! The key to hapiness is inside us and just you can reach it! So, keep strong, powerful and independent, and happy 2017! ❤️

  • Very mature perspective and I’m glad the experience made you stronger. He wasn’t worth of you and, honestly, I’m glad in a weird way you learned that lesson!

    S .x ramblingsofayoungprgirl.blogspot.com

  • 2017 is going to be your year, you are already doing so incredibly well in the blogging world that I feel you will continue to grow so much. Here’s to an amazing year!
    Bee | QueenBeady.com

  • WOW. This is amazing Amelia. You are so brave. When I met you back in October you were just about holding it together (unsurprisingly) and i have to admit I was saddened to meet that version of you as I wanted to meet the bubbly, funny, chatty girl from the vlogs. But you know what?! I’m GLAD I met you then because when I see you again (I’d love to go for tea and cake with you at some point!) I’ll be able to say “Look how much you’ve grown, this version of you is incredible.”
    Being cheated on is the worst thing, aside from death, that can happen to us whilst in a relationship. I have been lucky to never have suffered this, (yet and I hope I never will) but I know just how much it can wreck a relationship. Thank god you weren’t already married or had a child because let me tell you those 2 together make it much much worse for everyone involved. You seem to have been able to pick up the pieces of your life and put them back together, yes they may not be in the same shape they were previously, but hey, life’s an adventure and you never know this new life could take you on much more amazing adventures than your old one, because of its new shape. I have loved seeing you grow into this new person and fight back with determination and a zeal for life I don’t think I’ve seen from anyone before.
    I honestly wish you the very VERY best of luck with this new life of yours Amelia I for one cannot wait to see what else happens and where it takes you. ;0)
    Loads of love and Happy New Year!!
    Sunshine Sarah xoxoxoxoxo

  • Amelia, you are amazing and this has honestly verbalised everything I’ve been feeling for the past couple of months!
    I’ve been through a very similar situation this year after finding out that my partner of 8 years, the guy I thought I’d marry, had been in a relationship with someone else. My whole world shattered and I spent a long time feeling absolutely broken beyond repair.

    Fast forward a bit and I’ve moved into a beautiful little place of my own. I’m happier, feeling more free than I have in years and living the life that I should have been living for the last 8 years. I’ve got travel plans, I’m finally getting somewhere in my career and I finally feel properly like me. Cheating on me turned out to be the biggest favour he ever did for me.

    I just wanted to say thank you so much for writing this and to all the single girls that are absolutely smashing it, you are incredible! Xx

  • Wonderfully written by such a strong and independent woman who has finally discovered how amazing she has become! Stand tall and be proud of what you have achieved and will continue to achieve. So very happy for you and so glad I clicked that subscribed button….I love reading your blogs and watching your vlogs! Take great care my dear!!! You’ve GOT THIS!!!!

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