Closure is a funny thing. They say we need it to truly be able to move forward with our lives after something ends or gets taken away.
They say we need it to truly be able to move forward with our lives after something ends or gets taken away.
But what if we don’t get it?
What if someone leaves before answering our questions or if the questions we ask don’t even have answers? How can we move on without closure and truly let go of what’s happened to us?
When I found out my ex-partner had cheated on me, I had so many questions that mostly started with ‘why’. At the time and for a couple of months afterwards, he refused to answer them, claiming to not know why he did what he did and purposely avoiding my need for closure.
It was torture.
But one day about two months after our breakup I realised the answer to everything holding me back. Instead of tirelessly trying to get closure from him (which wasn’t going to happen), I simply made my own.
As soon as I accepted that I wasn’t going to get the closure I so desperately thought I needed, I created it for myself.
It sounds so simple, but accepting and understanding that your questions will not be answered enables you to take back control of your own healing and move forward. We think we need the why’s and the how comes. But in reality, what will they help us with?
Will it change what’s happened? Will it bring a person back?
You may feel like all you need is the answer to this one question but once you have that answer then more questions will arise perpetuating the problem in your mind indefinitely. There are always more whys, more how comes, more what ifs.
But by accepting what’s happened and understanding that you may never get the answers you desperately crave (right now) is the true power to moving forward and rising above what’s happened.
Once you create your own closure, you are free.