Gone are the days of eyes meeting across a crowded room or singing love ballads to your woman under their window. Dating today is all about apps and meeting ‘the one’ online has become a legitimate form of wooing.
I don’t tend to get approached in bars thanks to my serious resting bitch face and the fact that I spend most of my weekends drinking wine with my girls in my flat in joggers instead. So I’m venturing once again into the world of online dating to make sure I don’t actually end up dying alone with a hundred cats.
Personally I find online dating quite fun. It’s nice to talk to new people from a safe distance and to know a little bit about them before you decide whether to send that first message or not. But there are also a few trends that I’ve spotted in my online man hunting and a number of photo faux pas that seem to keep cropping up again and again!
I don’t know about you ladies, but here are 7 online dating profile photos that in my humble opinion need to be banned ASAP!
The Topless One – Do those muscles mean you’re a kind hearted soul who will treat me well, stay loyal and look after me until we are grey and old? Well possibly, but in reality probably not. In actual fact it’s more likely that you love your body more than you love your actual self and would be really boring at the dinner table – chicken and broccoli for you then? Hold the beer.
Photos From Your Drunken Nights Out – Lads lads lads!!! Bantaaaaaaaa!!! Wheeeeyyyyyy!!!! Just no.
The Group Photo – Its not the 90’s and I’m not about to settle down to play a rousing game of Guess Who. Put up a selfie otherwise I’m only going to be disappointed when I think I’m going on a date with your hotter mate and you turn up.
The Photo With A Dog – I love dogs, and I’m not going to lie, if yours is cute it MAY sway me to start talking to you in the hope you might bring it along to the pub and I can cuddle it on our first date. But it’s effectively just another way of saying ‘Look! I love animals and I am responsible enough to care for living things’ which I appreciate but I’d like to find that out myself without the furry bribe thanks.
Holding a Child – If they’re yours, ok. If they’re your nieces and nephews – it’s a bit weird. I know you’re trying to ‘subtly’ say you like children so therefore would be good to reproduce with but come on, let’s have a coffee first.
The Pout – Leave it to Kylie Jenner lads and show us an actual smile. If that’s your selfie game then we’re just going to have issues in couples insta pics later on aren’t we.
The Gigalo – A photo of you surrounded by other women? In what way is this a good thing? I mean seriously. Are these all your friends that I’m going to have to be wary of every time your phone goes off or you go out? Or do you just consider yourself a bit of a player? Either way, I really don’t get this one in the slightest. PASS.
Now I know us women are probably guilty of our own photo faux pas (gents, you can share those in the comments below!) and at the end of the day you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover but let’s be a bit more creative boys.
There’s nothing wrong with a good old fashioned smile!